My Angel
by PixieMaura
Summary: We'd been perfect. Absolutely perfect. Until I decided to mess it up and now... we were just hollow shells. Friends who wanted to be so much more than friends. She's an angel, she's perfect. She's autistic, but I don't mind. I need to get her back, and I know she needs me back.


**Hi Everyone! PixieMaura here. I just wanted to write this story based on a dream I had. I hope you enjoy it. Don't know when I'll make the next chapter. Depends on wether I'm feeling the vibe or not. ;)**

**In the meantime; anybody who loves Twilight; REVIEW! I love reviews like I love my Robert-pillow :D**

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**Prologue;**

_We'd been perfect. Absolutely perfect. Until I decided to mess it up and now... now we were just hollow shells. Friends who wanted to be so much more than friends. She's an angel, she's perfect. She's autistic, but I don't mind. So why did I mess it up. I need to get her back, and I know she needs me back. I just hope that we can both control ourselves enough to do be together again._

We're going to the park. _Our _park. And I'm going with Tanya. Tanya has never been to the park, but I need to get her there, I need to get over with this someday. I can't keep on dwelling on the past. Tanya provided a fresh, but slightly uncomfortable new start. Sure _she_ could be there too, but I need to get over it someday. Or that's what my family says. I don't know if I'm ready to get over it already. =I picked her up in my silver Volvo, and the second she walked in her scent crashed into me. Too heavily applied perfume that smelt like melt gummy bears. I nearly gagged. Sadly, her sense of scent doesn't agree with mine. And her clothes were too revealing for my taste, but I guess that's what she found pretty. She gave me a huge pink lip gloss smile. I hated lip gloss on girls, just one of the things I need to start getting used to again, since _she_ never wore anything on her lips. I gave her a smile back and asked her about her day. She'd been good, and is very excited for our date. The place where we are going is a surprise for her. And when I finally reached it, she looked at me, finally stopping her endless boring shatter, utterly shocked.

"The park? Edward, I thought that's where you and-" I cut her off quickly, not wanting to hear her name now.

"I know. It's a nice place to hang out. Thought we might do a picnic."

She looked at the back seat of the car. "So that's what the basket is for." I nodded.

"But couldn't _she_ be here?" I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant, but inside, I was terrified of the chance that I might be seeing _her_ today. Everyone in town knew about me and her. Everybody knew what we had to go through, and why it ended.

"I need to get over her someday. Besides, I'm here with you." Though I wish you were someone else.

She gently touched my arm. "Edward, we can go someplace else. We don't need to go here."

I shook my head. "I need to get this over with." She sighed and we stepped out of the car. I grabbed the basket from the backseat and searched the park for a spot near the great willow, whose shadow cast a dark spot on the lake. The sun was out today, which was rare, and the park was filled with people picnicking, walking their dogs, playing ballgames. I placed the blanket I took with me on a spot near the little candy stand and instantly bought Tanya and me some cotton candy to share. She had already sat down on the blanket unloaded the basket. Sandwiches and cookies and canned soda's appeared from it. She careful grabbed some cotton candy, trying to hide her distaste as she touched the sticky strands. She rolled her strand into a ball and put it in her mouth carefully, obviously trying to save her lip gloss. We talked about school, friends, and she talked about the gossip in town. She held my hand as she spoke. Her hand was manicured, and fake red nails were placed on them. I didn't like them. But she did, so I had to endure it.

Suddenly, she stopped talking.

"Don't look around." Of course, the second she said that, that was exactly what I did. I looked at the direction of the huge willow tree, and saw a small girl with a book bag and flowers in her hair sit down, leaning on the tree and opening a thick book. It was _her_. In all her glory and innocent beauty. Her green eyes flitted over the page, and I could see every emotion she felt in them. Concern, worry, relief, angst, fear. Her eyes told me everything I needed to know. Her blond-brown hair moved with the wind and the little flower crown she'd probably made for herself fell down. She grabbed it of the ground, folded it and made it a bracelet. When it still fell of her wrist, she walked towards a little girls looking at the fish in the river and gave it to her. The girl looked as if she were an angel that had fallen from the sky. She probably was, if any human being on earth came even remotely close to being an angel, it would be her. Moira. My Moira. My ex-Moira. She smiled at the girl and helped her put it over her head. The girl happily ran over to her parents and she pointed at her. She blushed and waved a little 'hi' as the girl's parents smiled at her and mouthed a 'thank you'. She walked back to her tree, blush still on her face and grabbed her book again, hiding her face in it.

"Edward. Are you alright?" Tanya shook my shoulder. I'd forgotten all about her.

"I'm fine." I muttered, not taking my eyes off Moira.

"You don't look fine." I kept quiet. She huffed angrily.

"It's supposed to be our date, not a stare-at-the-Freak-fest!" My jaw clenched, and I wanted to slap her. I looked directly at her, her face twisted in disgust as she looked at Moira.

"Don't ever call her a freak, and at least she's worth staring at!" I yelled at her, and all eyes turned to me. I blanched. I'd ruined it. I'd been dating Tanya for three weeks, I'd been convincing people I was fine and now… Everyone could see I was not fine. My face was probably red from fury and I could only imagine what people saw when they looked at me now. My little outburst will be the biggest news all over Forks now, because of the gossip-trade Tanya loved so much. She'd be part of it now. She sat up, yelled some obscenities at me and stomped off, taking out her phone, probably to call a friend to pick her up. I don't care, I ruined it anyway. I looked around, seeing everyone's eyes looking at me but halting at the most beautiful pair of them. Moira was looking at me, eyes wide, head cocked to the side. I kept her gaze, and as the people around continued whatever they were doing, she sat up and walked to me, book bag in hand.

"Waste of a good picnic." She smiled at me, and I smiled back slightly.

"Join me then?" I asked. Her smile grew and she sat down on the blanket next to me.

"She's stupid if she leaves you." She said matter-of-factly.

"I don't care." I shrugged.

"Knew you wouldn't."

I couldn't help but smile. "You know everything."

"When it comes to you I do." She grinned and grabbed a strand of the cotton candy.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the sun, watching each other and the lake.

"Is it off then?"

"What?"

"You and Tanya? You looked a little mad." I snorted at her understatement.

"Okay, you looked furious."

"She said something. She had no right to say it." I frowned.

"About me, I suspect." She said softly. Oh, she knew what people said about her. She didn't deserve any of it. She grabbed my hand and stroked it, exactly like she used to. I grabbed her tiny hand and kissed it softly. She'd always liked that. She blushed and rested her head on my shoulder. People would probably think we're still together, or that the breakup was fake. We knew different. We just communicated that way. Her head on my shoulder said; 'I missed you.' Her blush said; 'I'm sorry.' Her hand said; 'Please don't let me go.'

She'd always depended on me when we were together. I was her rock and she was mine. We were perfect, absolutely perfect. Then I came and ruined it. I ruin so much lately. I shook my head and moved away from her, to avoid getting distracted by her heat warming my body and her hand causing tingles everywhere. I showed her a Coke and she clapped her hands in delight.

"Catch." I threw it at her, but it slipped from her hands, thankfully, it landed on her lap. The can had been pretty shaken though, there might be a little soda-explosion when we open it.

She looked at me mischievously. Grabbing it and holding onto the lid.

"Do we dare?"

I answered in my most serious tone.

"We dare."

"Three, two, one…" She opened the can and, sadly, there was only a little bit of soda that spilled right back into the can. Moira licked away some drops that had landed on her hand and the can, and I watched as her little pink tongue flashed out to lick the pad her thumb and ultimately suck on it to get away all the soda. My mouth suddenly felt very dry. She was oblivious, as always, of what kind of thoughts her mouth brought to my mind. I shook with my head. I'm not going back there again.

She took a big gulp and exclaimed "Wow! Sugar boost!" and took another gulp. Little tears came to her eyes as they always did taking a large gulp. She held it out to me. I grabbed it greedily, I was thirsty, and nothing would taste better that Coke mixed with Moira right now.

"What were you reading just then?"

She blushed heavily and muttered. "Fifty Shades Freed."

I nearly spat my Coke out. I launched into a coughing fit.

"The porn book?" I asked, shocked.

"Well… Yeah… I mean… I need to have some… preparation… Right?" Was that why she looked so scared reading the book? Was she disgusted? I asked her.

Her eyes widened. "Umm, no, it was just an…" She paused to think. "Well, if I said an exciting scene, you'd take it the wrong way." My mouth opened, I was just so shocked… My little Moira… Reading _porn_?

"Okay, the porn-reading part, different, but Moira… S&M? Are you trying to tell me something?" I joked, though slightly worried for her mental health.

"It was the only thing I could buy without feeling utterly mortified! It's a bestseller, no one could blame me for buying it if it's a bestseller." I just couldn't stop laughing after that, her face was beet red and she was biting that soft lip of hers.

"It is kinda hot, though." She whispered. I instantly stopped laughing. I shook my head, trying not to make my thoughts swim into _that _again. The moment we knew we had to break up.

"You didn't think like that when I wanted to be with you that way." I said sadly. She just wasn't ready the first time… and the second… and the third. And every single time I begged for her. A little tear escaped her eye, and I regretted what I had said instantly.

"I wanted it. I just… I wasn't…" She sobbed, and other tears escaped. I ran my thumb over her cheeks to wipe them away. No angel like her should be crying. Not over someone like me.

"Ready, I know."

"I'm so sorry." Her voice was barely a whisper, but I heard her pain, her agony. I heard it in her voice ever since we decided to end things.

"Hey, hey, hey… We agreed, remember? Later, when we're ready. When you're ready." I grabbed her tiny little body and placed it on my lap. Her warms tears stained my shirt, but I didn't mind. I kissed her hair. She shook her head, and I saw the look on her face, the same look she got every time we tried to get her to not be so frightened of it.

She laughed, but it wasn't a happy laugh. I could practically hear the self-loathing in her laugh.

"I should've been ready the second I met you. Everyone's ready this age. Autistic freak that I am…" Her voice sounded monotone, but the hatred, the sadness… I didn't want to see her like this. I'd seen her like this more than enough.

"She's not right for you." Her childlike voice piped in again.

"I know."

"You need a girl who's nice to everyone, and doesn't leave you like that. She doesn't deserve you. Nobody who leaves you does." She told me, her eyes locking with mine only a second, since she couldn't bear looking any longer. She'd gotten better at it during the time we were still together, but now, it seemed like we had to start over from scratch again.

I kissed her hair again, and she turned her head to kiss my jaw. She'd always liked doing that. It was the first place she'd kissed somewhere other than on the cheek. I remember the blush, and the look on her face as if she'd just admitted she loved me. Shy, happy, anticipating, loving… I'd always liked that expression, it reminded me of how innocent, how sweet, how loving she was. She'd only ever loved me. Moira blushed and tucked her face into my neck, kissing it too. It felt so good, and all I could do is hold her tighter and tighter just so she wouldn't stop. But I knew she had to stop, because I was just one second away from grabbing her hair and pulling her towards me so I could finally kiss her for the first time in seven months. But then we'd go all the way around again. Be friends, get together, break up. I knew she wasn't able to change her condition, and there was nothing I could do against the raging hormones that wanted her. I pushed her away from my neck and she blushed and muttered a quiet 'sorry.'

After a moment of silence I asked, "Want me to give you a ride?"

"I'd love that. My feet are killing me." I looked down at her tiny little feet, surprised to see them in heels.

"I thought you hated heels."

"Well, girls wear them at times they aren't necessary, right? Thought I might do the same."

I frowned. "You're not made to blend in, Moira."

"I don't want to. But I thought it might make the teasing stop. Guys don't laugh at girls in heels. Guys love girls in heels."

I shook my head and took the heels off her feet.

"I love you without the damn heels."


End file.
